Who Am I?

Who Am I?
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Saturday, September 19, 2009 at 10:10pm Edit Note Delete
Guess when you left, I left too. Cause ever since then i havent been the same.I was lost before but now im lost even more. I see the life i have and despite the fact that im alive and well, im gone. i sit in my life and instead of giving thanks, i complain. Mypain is much greater than my joy. I smiile to you but frown inside. I cant explain this, but as i learn, i see im not alone.i sit and think as to how i fit.fit in this world of confusion.i take music and writing and try to fit it in my life.I have many gifts but can't find a way to get them to unravel.If i died today, i wonder what would i be remembered as.Im not rapper,singer,writer or actor, so how do i go off?Some people ask if im despressed, no just stressed.Tired of the mess and wanna be free and happy.Take my pain and exppress it in a way that would help those i love.Wish for those i loved and pass, to have known that they were loved.Know that they had a place in my heart and dreams.As I go forward, I take you and those with me on earth, on my journey in life.If there is anything I can push me and give me strength, its those i love and my current status in life.I see my dream life and wanna feel it. But those in my dream life, are not happy. With spurts of inspiration here and there, I write.If i could, i'd spend my nights in the studio.If I could, I'd go back in time and hug him one more time.If there is one thing I hate, is to be told what to do.My tears are sad. My smile is love.My heart hurts. My emotion is anger.If I could just find my way and channel my emotions to positivity, i'd be good.Im alone cause it helps me but it confuses me.Music is my life. Family is my life. Without my life, Nothing can filll me.I'm empty. I look deep inside me and write. Apart of my life on both sides die and I cried.I write my emotions and am misunderstood. The only difference between me and a singer/rapper in the industry, is they can release their emotions to the world. I keep my emotions to myself. My shyness and fear of rejection, take me away from my greatness.Songwriter Krystal? Maybe.Author Krystal? Maybe.Rapper? HA!Singer? Eh!Either way, how do I make these maybe's and dreams into reality.My Personal Message:-Until then I write, listen to others music and continue to dream.Love you Tupac(RIP),Daron(RIP),Brandy,Michael Jackson(RIP),Left-Eye(RIP),Aaliyah(RIP),and my family, and any other person who has inspiried me in my life. Thank You! I love you all! I will keep finding my way in life.